Home » What to do if you experience unwanted sexual contact or behaviour
What to do if you experience unwanted sexual contact or behaviour
Home » What to do if you experience unwanted sexual contact or behaviour
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Posted:08/06/2023
Superdrug’s You Before Yes Campaign delves deeper into the crucial, but often overlooked world, of consent. It opens up important conversations about what it actually means, helping you feel in the know and empowered to find your voice when it comes to all things consent.
In this blog post from the series, Fumble, the free digital sex education platform, discusses what to do if you experience unwanted sexual behaviour.
You are not alone
Regardless of who you are, any form of sexual violence is not okay. No-one should experience sexual assault, abuse or violence. This is never okay.
It is not your fault
There are a lot of myths surrounding sexual violence, which can sometimes make it hard to know what to believe. These create a victim-blaming culture that often surrounds sexual violence and abuse, which can make it even harder to process what’s happened. Victim-blaming is when people, who have experienced sexual violence, are questioned about their behaviour: what they could’ve done to prevent it or, worse, what they did to ‘invite’ it, e.g. “They were ‘asking for it’”.
It is never the survivor’s fault that they’ve been sexually assaulted or raped. It doesn’t matter what they were wearing, what they were doing, whether they were walking somewhere alone, what time of day or night it was, if they’re drunk or intoxicated. All of this is irrelevant. Everyone has the right to be safe. No-one is deserving of sexual violence. No-one ‘is asking for’ sexual violence.
Instead, we need to put the focus back onto the person who committed this offence.
The majority of the victim-blaming narrative actually relies on a misconception that most sexual assaults and rape happen between strangers. This ‘stranger danger’ myth has been around for decades and is, unfortunately, still thriving. One of the issues with this myth is its focus on a survivor’s behaviour to keep themselves ‘safe’ from strangers. For example: not walking home alone, drunk, at night. This is victim-blaming and shields the reality. Rape Crisis shows that 1 in 2 women experience rape from their partner or ex-partner, and 5 in 6 women experience rape from someone they know.
Again, we need to swing the focus back onto the behaviour of the person who committed this violation and offence.
Getting support: what to do and where to go
Here are some things that can be helpful to know:
– Consider getting medical help as soon as possible because you may be at risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
– A lot of people don’t have physical injuries after any form of sexual violence, but if you do, consider getting checked by a doctor.
– A sexual assault referral centre (SARC) is a good place to start. They offer both medical attention and sexual violence support, as well as being specially trained to support people who have experienced sexual violence.
– You’ll be offered a forensic medical examination (to collect medical evidence). Some people find this reassuring, but this is entirely your choice and you don’t have to have this examination if you don’t want to. You can also choose to do just some parts of the examination, but not others.
– It’s very understandable if you need time to think about what’s happened to you and process your feelings, before deciding what to do in terms of reporting. That’s okay, take your time. It’s an option to have a forensic medical examination and decide later if you want to report it and use this medical evidence.
Sexual Assault Referral Centres (SARCs)
A Sexual Assault Referral Centre (SARC) is a good place to start. There are lots of them across the UK, and they’re available to everyone regardless of what has happened, when it happened, gender, age or anything else. These centres provide crisis care, medical attention, forensic examinations (gathering evidence in case you want to report what happened to the police), emergency contraception, STI testing and access to an Independent Sexual Assault Advisor (ISVA).
If you do want to report a sexual assault to the police, or you’re thinking about it, the centre can support you with this. Find your nearest SARC.
Services
Alongside SARCs, there are lots of other services that offer support to people who have experienced sexual violence:
Rape Crisis England and Walesis a specialist service for women and girls who have experienced any form of sexual violence at any time: 24/7 free phone line 0808 500 222, or online chat.
Survivors UK is a service for male survivors of sexual violence (including trans and non-binary people, anyone who has identified as male in the past, and anyone who feels this service is the right fit for them). Get support if you’re aged 13-18, or if you’re an adult. Reach them via webchat or text.
Home » What to do if you experience unwanted sexual contact or behaviour
What to do if you experience unwanted sexual contact or behaviour
Home » What to do if you experience unwanted sexual contact or behaviour
Superdrug’s You Before Yes Campaign delves deeper into the crucial, but often overlooked world, of consent. It opens up important conversations about what it actually means, helping you feel in the know and empowered to find your voice when it comes to all things consent.
In this blog post from the series, Fumble, the free digital sex education platform, discusses what to do if you experience unwanted sexual behaviour.
You are not alone
Regardless of who you are, any form of sexual violence is not okay.
No-one should experience sexual assault, abuse or violence. This is never okay.
It is not your fault
There are a lot of myths surrounding sexual violence, which can sometimes make it hard to know what to believe. These create a victim-blaming culture that often surrounds sexual violence and abuse, which can make it even harder to process what’s happened. Victim-blaming is when people, who have experienced sexual violence, are questioned about their behaviour: what they could’ve done to prevent it or, worse, what they did to ‘invite’ it, e.g. “They were ‘asking for it’”.
It is never the survivor’s fault that they’ve been sexually assaulted or raped. It doesn’t matter what they were wearing, what they were doing, whether they were walking somewhere alone, what time of day or night it was, if they’re drunk or intoxicated. All of this is irrelevant. Everyone has the right to be safe. No-one is deserving of sexual violence. No-one ‘is asking for’ sexual violence.
Instead, we need to put the focus back onto the person who committed this offence.
The majority of the victim-blaming narrative actually relies on a misconception that most sexual assaults and rape happen between strangers. This ‘stranger danger’ myth has been around for decades and is, unfortunately, still thriving. One of the issues with this myth is its focus on a survivor’s behaviour to keep themselves ‘safe’ from strangers. For example: not walking home alone, drunk, at night. This is victim-blaming and shields the reality. Rape Crisis shows that 1 in 2 women experience rape from their partner or ex-partner, and 5 in 6 women experience rape from someone they know.
Again, we need to swing the focus back onto the behaviour of the person who committed this violation and offence.
Getting support: what to do and where to go
Here are some things that can be helpful to know:
– Consider getting medical help as soon as possible because you may be at risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
– A lot of people don’t have physical injuries after any form of sexual violence, but if you do, consider getting checked by a doctor.
– A sexual assault referral centre (SARC) is a good place to start. They offer both medical attention and sexual violence support, as well as being specially trained to support people who have experienced sexual violence.
– You’ll be offered a forensic medical examination (to collect medical evidence). Some people find this reassuring, but this is entirely your choice and you don’t have to have this examination if you don’t want to. You can also choose to do just some parts of the examination, but not others.
– It’s very understandable if you need time to think about what’s happened to you and process your feelings, before deciding what to do in terms of reporting. That’s okay, take your time. It’s an option to have a forensic medical examination and decide later if you want to report it and use this medical evidence.
Sexual Assault Referral Centres (SARCs)
A Sexual Assault Referral Centre (SARC) is a good place to start. There are lots of them across the UK, and they’re available to everyone regardless of what has happened, when it happened, gender, age or anything else. These centres provide crisis care, medical attention, forensic examinations (gathering evidence in case you want to report what happened to the police), emergency contraception, STI testing and access to an Independent Sexual Assault Advisor (ISVA).
If you do want to report a sexual assault to the police, or you’re thinking about it, the centre can support you with this. Find your nearest SARC.
Services
Alongside SARCs, there are lots of other services that offer support to people who have experienced sexual violence:
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